You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Too much gin, very little bucket
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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