TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
