that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
