Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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