I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
