I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Can Purell be used as lube?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
