just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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