u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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