I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
