No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
