its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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