I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
