Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
