i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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