he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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