Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Vodka?
Forever.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
