i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
