How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
