I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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