help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
