So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
