So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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