He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
honey bunches of taint.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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