I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
