Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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