I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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