Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Text me some of your sweat
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
