You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize