they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
