i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
one might say we're banned from that church
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
