We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize