Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
