Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
