i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
