shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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