First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
