maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
