do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
