I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
