it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize