and you said cock pushups were impossible
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
