Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
