I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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