So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
