Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
