i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize