My liver just broke up with me...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
