im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
