it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
