Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
