What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
