It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
