did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
