i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
