my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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