Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
