Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
