The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
