I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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