question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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