FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize