I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I have already put on my inside pants.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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